Currently Listening Break the Cycle By Staind see related

thinks begin to look up and then come crashing down...i cant fathom why this happens....i contemplate what i have done to deserve this, but my questions are always left unanswered. im always searching for a way out...i always find a temporary answer but then i become tolearant and "happiness" slips away. im losing touch with myself and those who matter the most and i cant seem to stop it. started turning back to my old ways...taking pills to seek satisfaction....its all i can do...its my only way out....cutting has surfaced once again....i cant help who i am....i cant escape all the factors that make me who i am....i dont need help....i dont need another fake friend...all i need is to regain sanity and live like i once did. its the only true answer.....

...my favorite quite...ironic, eh?

Currently Listening The Poison By Bullet for My Valentine see related

been almost a month yet again....same old shit as usualy.....school, work, partying....yup yup yup...my best friend moved to Louisana for work...sucks here without him...hes coming back in a couple of months though....i really miss him...getting a tattoo FINALLY!!!!! its a heart with vines coming from it...its so pretty....may change my mind before tomorrow night though...i want some sort of heart for sure though.....depression still comes and goes..not sure why......havent cut in almost a month....feels kinda strange.....

Currently Listening Hand of Blood By Bullet for My Valentine see related

its been so long since ive updated....so much has happened....everything has started to get better but im not holding my breath....b/c every time i seem to let myself get use to something, it always changes...the 11th was my mom and dads anniversary....also the day my grandpa died 4 years ago...i really miss him...and yesterday my baby died...my baby squirrel that i had been bottle feedind for awhile....this weekend was shot to hell in a hand basket...and then today i get refered to as a druggie by a teacher...who is she to judge me when she knows nothing....only God can judge me....Valentines is seriously the worst time of the year for me...all this love bull shit....its all so fake and such a waste of time....but damnit, i cant help but to long for it....

and my favorite...it sucks having to keep yourself medicated just to make it through another day....

Currently Listening Break the Cycle By Staind see related

not much to say....random icons on how i feel since no one really cares anyways.......

Brian,

                       this is all for you.......

forgive me for the things ive done. i cant let myself give up, but theres nothing left to do. i'm sorry......

damn.....its been a long time since ive updated....oh well....i never get any comments anyways.....not too much has been going on....getting closer to graduating...whoop whoop! cant wait! we've decided that when we graduate we're taking our senior trip to PANA-fucking-MA!!!!! whoopers whoopers! yea yeeeee! cant wait! getting some tattoos and piercings while were there..... things have slowly been getting better.....got into a fight with ashley....she can fuck off for all i care.....like ive said before...we dont need any drama......fuck all of that! she likes john....john likes me.....get the fuck over it....went to nashville....was pretty cool....chilled all emo stylie and shit.....its all good though.....if im emo.....so fucking what!...i carved a heart into my ankle...looks really cute.....it bled alot though....looks alot like that icon.....

Perfection Comes Only With Death

Perfection Comes Only With Death

Perfection Comes Only With Death